• Article Tools
• Print
• RSS

NFP and Me

by Brian Caulfield 

Many people have the wrong idea about natural family planning (NFP). It is not “natural” solely because it works without chemicals, or implants, or barriers or other methods associated with banned “artificial” contraception such as condoms and the Pill. Chemicals or scientific aids, per se, are not the problem when it comes to moral theology, as my last column on Viagra indicated.

Rather, NFP is Church-approved and “natural” because it does not interfere with the natural performance and possible outcome of sexual intercourse, including the gift of new life. Although the Church is often viewed as antiquated and opposed to science with its ban on contraceptives, the fact is that cutting-edge science is integral to modern methods of NFP. What used to be called the rhythm method (or “Vatican roulette” by detractors) is today a highly sophisticated, women-friendly method that draws on the latest findings in biology and reproductive science.

Yet the sad fact is that the overwhelming majority of married Catholic couples (more than 90 percent, perhaps) use some form of illicit contraception or sterilization at some point during their marriage. Very few understand NFP and even fewer use it exclusively.

As a defender of the Church’s teaching, I am often asked to explain the difference between NFP and contraception. After all, if an NFP couple intends to avoid pregnancy by having sex during the woman’s infertile periods, aren’t they engaging in contraception? My answer is that a couple can use NFP with a contraceptive mentality, just as surely as anything good can be misused or distorted through ignorance or bad will.

Before giving a fuller explanation, let me first summarize what the Church calls the two ends or purposes of marriage and the concept of “responsible parenthood.” Marriage is for the begetting and education of offspring and the mutual love and support of the spouses, which includes sexual intercourse (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1601). Each and every exercise of the “marital act” must be open to the possibility of the generation of new life, yet this does not mean that Catholic couples are obligated to have sex only during a woman’s fertile period, or to have as many children as a mother’s body can possibly bear.

In his 1968 encyclical, Humanae Vitae (On Human Life), Pope Paul VI said that restricting intercourse to a woman’s infertile period – even for an indefinite length of time – could be licit for well-grounded or just reasons (HV, 16). He did not explain exactly what these reasons could be, leaving such a judgment to the conscience of each couple. While the Church allows latitude in the use of NFP, there are definite limits, and it can be used in bad faith and for selfish reasons.

Yet in its proper application – and in the way it informs and affects relations between husband and wife – NFP is radically different from contraception. Most significantly, NFP can be used to help a couple achieve as well as postpone pregnancy. The pro-conception aspect of NFP is becoming increasingly well-known as more couples are experiencing forms of infertility.

The way in which NFP touches the will, intellect and desire – what John Paul II would call “The Acting Person” – also sets it apart. With NFP, a couple may abstain during the fertile period and then engage in relations during the infertile period. Even though they seek to avoid conception, they do so according to the patterns that God has inscribed into a wife’s cycle – saying, in effect, “Not my will but thy will be done.” In both physical action and humble intent, they are cooperating with God’s design.

With contraception, on the other hand, a couple decides by definite actions and intentions when the infertile period will be, regardless of what God has inscribed. The spouses proclaim, in rather graphic terms, that they know better than God when it comes to the generation of life. They may not see their actions in such boldly rebellious terms, but a little scratching of the conscience may reveal to them the true nature of their contraceptive behavior.

Since this column is entitled “NFP and Me,” allow me now to reveal some personal details. When my wife and I were married 11 years ago, we had no intention of using NFP. I should add that we had no intention of using contraception either. Coming to marriage a bit later in life, we saw no reason to use NFP. We would “let God be God” and accept as many children as we could before the window of fertility closed.

Well, as is often the case, we learned that God has a sense of humor. Just because you are a faithful, loving Catholic couple, you will not necessarily wind up with a van filled with children. Fertility is a very personal thing, and we are very blessed to have two boys (ages 9 and 5), with a declining biological chance of having a third child.

Looking back, I am tempted to think that NFP may have served us well in identifying the fertile periods for the purpose of achieving conception! Yet at other times I think that these two boys are exactly the number God intended for my wife and me. What more could we ask of the Lord!

The message for me is that when it comes to the Sacrament of Marriage, we are standing on holy ground. A husband and wife hold a great treasure in their hands when they engage in the marital embrace, and the intense pleasure should lead a couple not inward to themselves, but outward to the deep and abiding mystery that rests in the heart of God.

We are procreators, co-creators, with the God of the universe. How can anyone intend to lower his status by using a condom, a Pill or any other form of contraception? Since it recognizes the divine hand in procreation, NFP is one way of entering more deeply into the mystery and the beauty of the life that God gives us.

---

(The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Headline Bistro or the Knights of Columbus.)