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Big Screen Dads

by Brian Caulfield 

Who are the greatest masculine movie figures? You might say John Wayne, the iconic soldier, cowboy, pioneer and “Quiet Man” who seemed to play nobody so much as himself. Other candidates might be Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney or Burt Lancaster. More recent macho guys include Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, Denzel Washington and Harrison Ford.

Now think: how many times have these superstar guys played good dads? There may be some examples, but you get the point.

Macho movie men don’t have children, or else they leave them behind to conquer the world or save the nation. When a leading man is cast as a dad, too often he a foolish figure, needing guidance from his wise-guy children, or the movie is billed as “family entertainment,” a somewhat lesser category than drama or romance. Let’s face it, when a man on the screen finally wins the battle, gets the girl and decides to “settle down,” the story comes to an end. They live “happily ever after,” which even preschoolers know means it’s time to close the book. Wife, kids, family – they fence in an action figure, bring him down to earth, give him connections to our own world that make him smaller than life and wary of adventure.

How far can a man roam when he has to return each evening to a house, no matter how much love and assurance he receives there? That is why there have been so many movies set in the suburbs in which the husband/father is alienated from his “true self” and finds fulfillment in the excitement of a secret life of parties, affairs or illicit activity. John Updike has made mega millions off the theme in books and films. In more recent years, women have gotten into the act with the “Desperate Housewives” motif.

But there are notable screen exceptions to the “real men don’t do domestic” message –  some of them are even among the list of 10 best movies nominated for the Academy Awards on March 7.

First, I must say that I am not an avid movie watcher, having made a conscious decision to stop supporting Hollywood and its stream of offensive offerings. The movies I do view are mainly those I borrow from my local library, usually ones I can watch with my children. So my movie images are sort of set on what came before 1990. It’s not surprising, then, that for me the two great father figures are Capt. Von Trapp (Christopher Plummer) of The Sound of Music, and George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) of It’s a Wonderful Life.

Let me tell you what I see in these characters, and in my next column I will relate who members of my Fathers for Good Facebook group chose as their favorite dads and take a look at this year’s Oscars.

Capt. Von Trapp is a man wounded by love and loss, a widower with a large brood who is stuck in time, playing the same notes on his deck whistle to call his children and keep things the way they used to be. The room where his wife made music and his children played is locked. Yet he is also a man of great depth and understanding, who is open to the simple influence of the new governess Fraulein Maria (Julie Andrews), who, as the captain says, “brought music back” to the home. The good captain is man enough, and secure enough, to admit his mistakes and to change.

The key to Capt. Von Trapp is his unwavering principles, even in the face of great danger, as he puts into action his righteous anger and ferocious protective instincts for his homeland and his family. He has a number of great lines in the movie, but the best is one that is said about him. When the eldest daughter suggests to Maria (now Mrs. Von Trapp) that her father’s unyielding resistance to Nazism is ruining her romance and uprooting the family, Maria replies simply, “I can’t ask him to be less than he is.” What a man, to be spoken of in such terms by the woman he loves!

The Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life features another man with great dreams and firm principles who passes through a Dante-like hell, guided by his guardian angel, before emerging a changed man with a deeper appreciation for his wife, his children, and that “drafty old house.”

George Bailey is cornered by domestic life in a small town, and bored with the routine of work and family, and knows his smarts could take him far in the big city. Yet in an un-Updike twist, he finds hell in his own impulses and recovers his “true self” by going back to where he started, only with a new perspective and gratitude for God. This is the way most movies, and fables, went before the cynical 1960s, in fact. A constant retelling of the theme expressed in The Wizard of Oz – there’s no place like home!

Do we always have to look so far back for examples of good dads in the movies? Let me know what you think, as we continue the topic in my next column, in preparation for the Oscars.

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(The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Headline Bistro or the Knights of Columbus.)