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Loving Thy Neighbor and the Same-Sex Marriage Debate
by Margaret Datiles 

Same-sex marriage:  Are you for it or against it?

Today’s cultural debate over same-sex marriage presents us with a challenge: How can we explain our simultaneous adherence to the Church’s teachings on marriage and on loving our neighbor? The supposed dichotomy between supporting the traditional definition of marriage and fulfilling the Christian duty to love all persons (including homosexuals) can be explained by recognizing that protecting marriage is loving thy neighbor.

As Christians, we are called to both love one another and to love the truth. The two are inseparable.  I recall the words of Pope Benedict XVI in Caritas in Veritate:

In the present social and cultural context, where there is a widespread tendency to relativize truth, practicing charity in truth helps people to understand that adhering to the values of Christianity is not merely useful but essential for building a good society and for true integral human development.  A Christianity of charity without truth would be more or less interchangeable with a pool of good sentiments, helpful for social cohesion, but of little relevance.

To apply Benedict’s words to the same-sex marriage debate, we need to understand the “truth” about marriage and the role of law and human government in relation to marriage. Here, we have an opportunity to contemplate the true nature of marriage itself: Is the definition and existence of marriage so artificial that its nature can be changed by a legislative vote or the dictates of a public official?

I am happy to say that it’s quite the opposite. Unlike institutions that are created and defined by the state, the institution of marriage is an institution that existed before the state and maintains its existence independently of the state.

Any historian or sociologist can tell you that, as the foundation of families, marriage is the necessary cornerstone of all existing civilization. It was the first building block of society, and it is essential for the prosperity of any nation or government. In recognition of this universal fact, governments around the globe have given special rights and privileges to married persons in order to protect existing marriages and to encourage people to continue the practice of marrying and creating families. 

In other words, lawmakers did not come up with the idea of the institution of marriage. Rather, they passed laws to protect, support and encourage a pre-existing institution that they saw was good for the state and for human beings. Protecting marriage, then, is a direct way of loving our neighbor and wanting the good for our neighbor. 

Political efforts against same-sex marriage are not about “discrimination” or hatred towards gays and lesbians. On the contrary, such efforts are about protecting an existing institution that is the essential bedrock of our nation, for the good of humanity. 

Protecting marriage is necessary to fulfill our Christian duty to demonstrate the truth. In Caritas in Veritate, Benedict XVI wrote: “Development, social well-being, the search for a satisfactory solution to the grave socio-economic problems besetting humanity, all need this truth. What they need even more is that this truth should be loved and demonstrated.”  Benedict XVI has made it clear that loving thy neighbor entails demonstrating the truth.  

In short, opposing same-sex marriage doesn’t mean that you hate homosexuals or that you are un-Christian. It means that you love your neighbor and acknowledge the irreplaceable role that marriage plays in achieving the good of a society. Embracing this truth and demonstrating it in the same-sex marriage context is necessary for us to live, as Pope Benedict XVI phrased it, a “Christianity of charity.”

 

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(The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Headline Bistro or the Knights of Columbus.)