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A Time for Retreat

by Pia de Solenni 

Tens of thousands of people, perhaps hundreds of thousands (we’ve never had a precise count) will be marching in Washington, D.C. tomorrow to mark the 37 years that have passed since the Supreme Court passed the Roe v. Wade decision which paved the way for abortion at any time during a woman’s pregnancy, for any reason.

Unfortunately, I won’t be there. I will sorely miss it as I consider it to be one of the most uplifting events in which I’ve ever participated. But this brings me to a larger question, namely what can be done better to witness the pro-life message.

As John Paul II famously commented, it’s not enough to change the laws. We must change minds and hearts. Roe can be overturned, but that won’t change the perceived “need” for abortion. That only changes when a culture changes and that starts individually with each of us.

I meet many generous people who want to know what they can do to help the pro-life movement. While activism is important, the most essential work is done in our homes and through our individual lives. People favor abortion not because they are hooked in by fancy Planned Parenthood slogans but because the concept of a woman in a difficult pregnancy situation with no one to help her resonates with their experience. That only changes when we live differently and adequately respond to the needs of others.

In many ways, the adage of Paul VI applies here: “Preach the Gospel always. Use words when necessary.” The most pro-life thing that anyone can do is to be a good and holy person. That will resonate further than any expensive ad campaign. It will transform others through shared relationships, starting first with our families and close friends.

Last weekend, I went on an excellent retreat at a local parish, Christ the King. To my mind this does more to make me an effective person for the pro-life movement, or the Church, or any laudable cause, than other forms of activism.

I enjoyed this retreat especially for its quality and accessibility. In the past, I’ve almost dreaded going on retreats. Some were insubstantial and not particularly Christian. Others left me feeling utterly exhausted even though they were doctrinally sound.

Additionally, my experience with retreats involved travel, taking time off from work, and paying a not insignificant sum. This retreat involved no travel and no time off; it started Friday evening. I even had time to enjoy part of the weekend with my husband since the retreat ended Sunday morning.

Because the parish used the rooms of an old convent on its property and the pastor did not collect a fee for his services, the costs for the retreat were minimal – just to cover some very good meals and their preparation.

Most importantly the meditations were excellent, refreshing us and preparing us for a general confession. The participants came from very different backgrounds and understandings of the faith. Yet, the meditations, based on St. Ignatius’ spiritual exercises, were basic and applicable to everyone. They were also well delivered with a bit of humor to make things relevant.

The schedule was packed, but we had some good breaks in between which afforded the opportunity to spend some time with Our Lady of the Pillow, making the retreat a restful experience.

For me, a key aspect of the retreat was a focused journal that provided material and guides for meditation as well as space for writing. The journal helped to keep me focused on the retreat and not to slip away into the oblivion of my random thoughts.

This was the first time I’d done a retreat and felt refreshed not just spiritually, but in mind and body. It made me realize that this style of retreat could be offered in almost any parish. If a vacated convent is not available, dividers could be put up in a gym to create makeshift private quarters for retreatants.

While the March is a unique and encouraging event, I think it’s important to also put efforts and resources into the means that truly make us better people and thereby more effective pro-life witnesses. Retreats should not be reserved for those who have time and money. They need to be accessible to every person in the pew.

If we are serious about changing the culture, we must do more than march. We must make sure that the faithful have the means to improve themselves. Abortion won’t change until people change, including ourselves. So when we consider what pro-life activities we can undertake, I’d recommend organizing a good parish retreat. If necessary, contact the above parish for suggestions.

Pia de Solenni writes from Seattle, Wash. She can be reached via Facebook and Twitter. (Her website is getting a prolonged makeover and is currently offline.)

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(The views expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the positions of Headline Bistro or the Knights of Columbus.)