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A Truer View of the Role of Women

by Pia de Solenni 

The mommy wars rage on.

Businesses are trying to recruit more women so as to meet implicit, if not explicit, quotas as women leave their careers for their families. Some families are reevaluating their needs so as to make it possible for a parent to stay home.  At the heart of it all is the seeming tension over whether a woman should pursue professional careers and education if she’s “only going to be a wife and mother.”

To my mind, there’s no conflict. Whatever a woman does can contribute to who she is or will be as a wife and mother. (The same goes for men, by the way. His career will affect who he is and, hopefully, it will have good effects in his roles as husband and father. If anyone’s career makes him or her a worse person, then it might be time for a career change.)

I often wonder if we aren’t too limiting when we perceive such conflicts. For one, the workplace has changed dramatically in recent years. The introduction of the Internet alone makes the scenario much different from what women experienced even ten years ago. Women have more options to work part-time or take a break from their professional work while they dedicate themselves to raising their children. If they go back to work, some are able to carve out niche jobs for themselves.

John Paul II once commented that we had been freed from the box of so-called feminism. Instead of putting women into set roles that a particular culture or individual creates, women must be able to fulfill their vocations in ways that correspond with their unique gifts. For some, this will mean being a stay-at-home mom. For others, it will mean working in some professional context and perhaps even relying on a neighborhood stay-at-home mom to help out in a pinch. Still for others, it will mean something entirely different.
Just last week, I watched my friend Rachel Campos-Duffy on The View. An occasional guest on the show, she took the opportunity to announce that she’s pregnant with her sixth child. Then she went on to eloquently challenge the president’s Nobel Peace Prize because of his stance in favor of abortion.

She was able to communicate in a venue that most pro-life activists can only dream of. She spoke to mainstream America. Perhaps more importantly, America saw her. They saw a smart, articulate, attractive woman who’s happy about being a wife and mother. In fact, she’s so happy that she just wrote a book about staying home with her children.

I’ve heard from people who have said that just seeing Rachel on that show and the joy she exudes makes them want to be pregnant. Frequently, this leads to questions about the pro-life movement.

Through her professionally-honed communications skills and by living out to the fullest her vocation as a wife and mother, one woman was able to convey a vital message to the culture at large. I’ve often maintained that women in particular have been the backbone of the pro-life movement. Without them, there would be no movement, as they provide a powerful witness in a world that claims a woman’s happiness and success relies upon the right to destroy her unborn child.

In the document On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the World, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith wrote that women have a role in every aspect of society. It’s this very fact that accounts for the authentic diversity in the roles of women, of which Rachel’s appearance on The View is a prime example.

To return to the so-called mommy wars: obviously, there are some general, guiding principles for those who strive for a healthy balance of work and home life. For married women and men, family comes first – most immediately their spouse and children. Single people also need to be able to balance their responsibilities to family with work. Even better, their work environment should allow them to have a life outside of it so that they can eventually start their own family, should they discern that’s their calling.

Regardless of vocation, though, our roles as witnesses to the Gospel of Life and the freedom to which God has called all men and women will always be integral to our life’s work: whether or not we get a paycheck for what we do.

Pia de Solenni writes from Seattle, Wash. She can be reached via Facebook and Twitter. (Her website is getting a makeover and is currently offline.)